May 2013
64 posts
(100+) Tumblr: gotta love omegle You: whale,... →
skyisafox:
gotta love omegle
You: whale, shello there
Stranger: haha clever
You: haha thanks, been baiting to use that one
You: so what did the ocean say to the other?
Stranger: idk what?
You: nothing he just waved
Stranger: HAHAHA
You: OH MY COD…
person: she--
me: it's he.
person: *condescending smile* well, on your birth certificate--
me: yeah, it also says ' 8lbs, 6 oz ' -- a lot has changed over the years
sheisahopelessromantic:
marrymyface:
bisexual guys are assumed to be secretly gay
bisexual girls are assumed to be secretly straight
both are assumed to secretly like men
see what i’m getting at?
#men in society: forever believing that the world revolves around their dicks #talk about egocentricism
raxicoricofallapatorious:
pansexual does not mean attracted to you
bisexual does not mean attracted to you
homosexual does not mean attracted to you
heterosexual does not mean attracted to you
nothing means attracted to you
i am not attracted to you
no one is attracted to you
you are not attractive
°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° i’m glad we had this talk °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°
person: she--
me: it's he.
person: *condescending smile* well, on your birth certificate--
me: yeah, it also says ' 8lbs, 6 oz ' -- a lot has changed over the years
toolegitforclit:
peanutsareforpussies:
osointricate:
shorm:
birdpear:
depression is like trying to peel a potato with another potato its not fun it doesnt work and you just wanna cry
…why is this such a good metaphor what the fuck
#and then people are like #God! Why don’t you just get a peeler!? #and then they HAND YOU ANOTHER FUCKING POTATO
this makes so much sense
why is that...
How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If...
*Man walks into a store and finds employee*
Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
Man: I never filled out an application.
Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
Employee:
Man:
Employee:
Man: Fuck you, slut.
straight guys: uh why do girls care so much about being skinny? it's so annoying
straight guys: ew fat chicks
straight guys: why do girls care so much about shopping and romance and nail polish lol so annoying
straight guys: ew crazy butch lesbian manly feminazis why can't they act more feminine lol
straight guys: why do girls wear makeup they look so much better without it
straight guys: oh i'm so sorry are you sick? tired? dying?
straight guys: haha girls suck at math/science/sports
straight guys: a girl who does math/science/sports? well? get back in the kitchen that stuffs not gonna get you a husband
straight guys: why are girls so sensitive when we look at their boobs or something c'mon with that top you're asking for it
straight guys: oh my god a gay guy just hit on me how disgusting what a creeper doesn't he have any boundaries?
Almost Normal Boy: thefoxprince: I’m sick of my... →
thefoxprince:
I’m sick of my parents telling me not to “rush into things.” I’m not rushing into my transition. I’ve been thinking about it for years and I’ve had this goal of starting T after graduation since last year. You only think I’m rushing into it because it’s “all new” to you. It’s…
ferocious-fangirl-ofoz:
stereobone:
henryviiisensuite:
and here we have the differences between women’s and boy’s/men’s tshirts
All the Marvel products on disneystore are complete shit
I want to just take over that division and teach them what the people want.
Mom: why don't you ever tell me anything?
Mom: *tells entire family about your problems*
Mom: *judges you*
Mom: *Insults you*
Mom: *calls you spoiled*
Mom: *says you're overreacting*
ishimarulicious:
super-gay-natural:
esper-sparrow:
when people get angry at you for liking snakes
THAT IS THE CUTEST FUCKING SNAKE
this pOST IS ON MY FUCKING DASH AGAIN
KYLIE
geniekeckers:
undrunkscotsman:
i love how whoever is running obama’s blog actually blogs like we blog
imagine if it was barack the whole time like
and michelle’s like “BARACK DINNER’S ON THE TABLE!!”
and he’s just like “shut up woman i’m blogging”
except that obama wouldn’t be rude to her because he’s a man not a republican.
your full name without an E,F,R,S,K,I,M,L,C,A,Y,N
almostnormalboy:
charlieesuxx:
ssjdebusk:
padalovely:
itseasytoremember:
homosexualpizza:
monoclesandtentacles:
i-shall-eat-you:
fizzlemuffins:
solluxs:
mapledad-senpai:
shslbadass420:
ninathehyena:
N Dn Ht Bgod
Welp.
j to ow
(via billie-joe)
O
H TH O
htho
tthw ou guth
Sounds like I got punched or something.
My first and last names are composed of all of...
“It’s ok to objectify guys, they’re guys, they don’t care.” “Guys can’t get raped, they never don’t want sex.” “Men should be the ones to do the asking.”
“Men should always pay on a date.” “It’s okay for me to be sexually attracted to watching two gay men have sex, but not for men to be attracted to lesbians.” “It’s impossible for men to be victims of domestic violence, they’re bigger and...
I went to church with my family tonight and the...
Pastor: Now, according to a few passages in the bible, homosexuality is a sin.
Couple of older males in the audience: Amen!
Pastor: Now, wait, I'm not finished.
Pastor: You know what else the bible defines as a sin? Divorce.
-uncomfortable silence-
Pastor: There are countless passages that talk about how divorce is wrong, and that there are consequences to getting a divorce, such as the wife should be stoned.
Pastor: Yet, I witnessed a divorce just this morning. And I gotta tell you, it was heartbreaking, but I definitely didn't attempt to throw rocks at the wife, even though she was the one who filed for divorce.
Pastor: We choose to overlook the consequences of divorce because time has proven that they're inhumane and cruel.
Pastor: The bible doesn't say anything about the consequences of a homosexual lifestyle. Yet, we seem to be spearheading a campaign to ruin the lives of people we don't even know.
-the pastor shifts a few notes around-
Pastor: The bible states to love thy neighbor. That's it. There are no other rules or restrictions to that passage.
Pastor: So, we as a church family have to support equality with a smile on our face. THAT is the true Christian way.
Almost Normal Boy: the-land-of-misfit-toyss:... →
queermoustache:
the-land-of-misfit-toyss:
inbox:
dizzeedreamer:
I don’t understand schools.
If you have a broken leg you don’t have to do PE, but if you have social anxiety you’re forced to do public speaking
you are very stupid
you can get over social anxiety but you can’t get over a broken…
With social anxiety you can’t talk in front of people and forcing you to do it will just...
almostnormalboy:
manboobmaiden:
who decided being gay wasn’t manly? gay sex is technically twice as manly, you are literally doubling the amount of men in it
Why the fuck is it that when I posted the exact same thing like 2 weeks ago I got 2 notes and they post it one week ago and get 56.000 fucking notes
W.H.Y.
charlieesuxx:
News is talking about implant surgeries. Kinda confuses me that cis people can go to a doctor, tell them that they want surgery, and get it right away. But if a trans* person wants surgery, they need therapy to prove that they definitely want it… And some surgeons won’t even operate unless you’re on hormone treatment already like wtf is that.
Almost Normal Boy: iwillincendiotheheartoutofyou:... →
iwillincendiotheheartoutofyou:
katswhiskers:
iwillincendiotheheartoutofyou:
It confuses me when parents tell their daughters that their male friends can’t come to sleepovers like do they think they’re going to have sex with them IN FRONT OF ALL THEIR OTHER FRIENDS?
ORGY, IT’S…
aikomaru:
thewritingfortress:
aikomaru:
theoddginger:
aikomaru:
if school taught everyone that rape is bad and racism is bad instead of teaching how to find the angle of a kite im pretty sure the world would be a safer place
except all the kites would have wrong angles and spontaneously fall and kill people
i think youre missing the point buddy
I’d like to hear you say that when...
tomhiddlestonswife:
i wonder what marketing for penile cancer would look like?
“I LOVE PENIS”
“SAVE THE PENISES”
“SAVE SEX”
and if women wore some of their shirts or bracelets, they would be seen as whores or sluts or asking for it, maybe even resulting in rape, but when men wear “save the boobies” or “save second base” shirts, they are applauded for caring about a human being by yet again...
how many trans* people does it take to change a...
teen-boy-fag:
retrospectivefutures:
only one, but they have to live for a year in the dark to be really, definitely sure it needs changing
ugly laugh crying
